Motherhood & Pleasure: A Balancing Act

Motherhood is a rewarding journey, but it often leaves little time for self-care - especially when it comes to sexual pleasure. At My Pleasure, we believe that prioritising your own pleasure is essential to your well-being, even after becoming a mom. This article explores the common struggles mothers face in balancing their needs with life’s demands, offering practical advice on reconnecting with your body, increasing libido, and finding joy in self-pleasure. 

Being a mom is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but let’s be honest - it's also exhausting! Between caring for your little ones, managing the house, performing at work, and everything in between, finding time for yourself can feel like an impossible task. Many of us have felt the same way at some point, like we're pouring from an empty cup. But here’s something you need to hear: your own pleasure and self-care matter. Yes, even after becoming a mom!

At My Pleasure, we know how easy it is to put everyone else first and forget about your own needs - especially when it comes to your sexual pleasure. But the truth is, your pleasure is part of your overall health and happiness, and it's something worth prioritising.

The Struggle is Real: Why Moms Push Pleasure Aside

We get it - after a long day, the idea of self-care, let alone self-pleasure, might feel like just another thing on your never-ending to-do list. And you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many moms struggle with finding time and energy for themselves, especially when society often tells us that our needs should come last. But the reality is, neglecting your own needs can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself, from your partner, and from the woman you were before motherhood.

And let's talk about that for a minute. After childbirth, your body may feel different, and that’s normal. You might not feel as confident or as sexy as you once did, and that’s okay too. But here’s a reminder: you’re still you, and your body is still worthy of pleasure.

Self-Pleasure Isn't Selfish - It's Necessary

We’re all for self-care in its many forms—whether it’s a quiet cup of coffee before the kids wake up or a much-needed yoga class. But when we talk about pleasure here, we’re also talking about sexual pleasure. Because let’s face it, that part of life is just as important to your well-being.

It’s easy to feel like sexual pleasure should take a backseat when you’re a mom. There’s a myth that once you’ve had children, your own desires don’t matter anymore. But we’re here to break that myth wide open. Self-pleasure isn’t just a luxury; it’s a way to reconnect with yourself, feel good in your own skin, and even improve your mood (thanks to those lovely feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins). And remember, your body deserves just as much care and attention as everyone else’s.

Common Questions Moms Ask (But Don’t Always Talk About)

Motherhood brings all sorts of changes, and many of us are left wondering if we’ll ever feel the same way about our bodies or sex again. If you’ve had any of these thoughts, you’re not alone:

• "How do I even find the time for self-care, let alone self-pleasure?"
  Some days, it can feel like you don’t have a single minute to yourself. But carving out even 5-10 minutes for self-pleasure can do wonders for your mental and emotional health. It's about putting yourself back on the priority list.
• "I don’t feel like having sex anymore—what can I do?"
  Post-pregnancy hormones, lack of sleep, and the sheer exhaustion of motherhood can tank your libido. It’s normal! Start by reconnecting with yourself through gentle touch, or explore what feels good with a non-penetrative vibrator. You don’t have to jump right back into sex - start small and let your body ease into pleasure.
• "My body feels different after having kids—how do I love it again?"
  This one’s tough. Pregnancy and childbirth change our bodies in ways we didn’t expect, and it’s easy to feel less than confident. But your body is incredible for all that it’s done. Loving it again starts with being kind to yourself, taking small steps to reconnect, and remembering that it’s still capable of pleasure.
• "How do I reconnect with my partner?"
  Finding time and energy for intimacy with your partner can be challenging, especially when you’re both dealing with the demands of parenting. Start by talking about how you’re feeling - open communication is key. Then, try to find moments for connection, whether it’s through non-sexual touch or cuddling, and ease back into intimacy at your own pace.

Tips for Finding Pleasure After Motherhood

Getting back to feeling good in your own skin and in your sexual relationship can take some time. But it’s definitely possible. Here are some tips to help you along the way:

• Make time for yourself: We know, easier said than done! But even setting aside 10 minutes for yourself each day can make a huge difference. Whether it’s for a relaxing bath, a quick meditation, or exploring your body with a vibrator - taking that time is essential.
• Rediscover what feels good: Your body has changed, and what felt good before might not feel the same now. This is the perfect time to explore what does work for you. We recommend starting with what will make you most comfortable, like a clitoral vibrator to ease back into things. Making use of a water-based lube or soothing gel can help make your experience as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.
• Communicate with your partner: If you’re struggling with low libido or feel disconnected, it’s important to have an open conversation with your partner. Let them know how you’re feeling, and work together to rebuild your intimacy.
• Be patient with yourself: There is no timeline for these things, everyone's journey and experience will differ. It's important to give yourself grace, and understand that there is no right or wrong way to experience pleasure!

Learning to Love Your Postpartum Body

We’ve all been there - standing in front of the mirror, wondering how to love the new version of ourselves. But here's a gentle reminder: your body has done something amazing. It’s nurtured and brought life into the world, and that’s worth celebrating. Yes, it’s different now, but it’s still beautiful and it’s still capable of pleasure.

At My Pleasure, we encourage you to take time to explore and appreciate your body in its new form. Self-pleasure is an amazing way to reconnect with yourself and start to love the skin you're in. It’s about taking back that part of yourself that might have been forgotten in the chaos of motherhood.

Products to Help You Rediscover Your Pleasure

When you're ready to dive back into self-pleasure, start with tools that are gentle and designed with your comfort in mind. We recommend trying:

• Non-penetrative vibrators for a softer, less intense experience
• Lubricants to make things more comfortable and enjoyable
• Soothing gels to help with any postpartum sensitivity

These products can help you rediscover what feels good and make self-pleasure a regular part of your self-care routine.

Remember: You Deserve to Prioritise Your Pleasure

Motherhood is an incredible journey, but it doesn’t mean you need to lose yourself in the process. Prioritising your own pleasure is a vital part of your well-being - it helps you feel more connected to yourself, your body, and your partner.

At My Pleasure, we’re here to support you on this journey, offering products that help you feel confident, relaxed, and empowered to enjoy your body again. Because as a mom, you deserve to experience pleasure too.